This LiveJournal is officially retired.

If you'd like to keep following my life, please read my new blog.

Turns out I have to take one more summer course online before I can actually get my degree, therefor delaying "real life" by another couple of months. I think I'm more worried about the added cost than anything else.

People fear what they don't understand.

This very cliche line holds true. To not understand something is the inability to relate to it or predict it. This is paranoia, and this is fear.

I don't understand humans. I've never been able to truly relate to the people around me. I don't understand what they enjoy, how they spend their time, why they do the things they do. I don't understand the concept of making friends or small talk.

I cannot recall a time in my life where I did not feel out of place. I always feel like I don't belong, and I cannot shake the suspicion that everyone else can see it - they can see my displacement, and how poorly I fit in. I fear the things they think about me or whisper about me.

I know no one cares. No one is out to get me, people don't talk about me behind my back any more than they do anyone else. But it is a paranoid delusion I cannot dissipate. I fear people because I cannot understand them or relate to them.


I am a human, but I am no more a part of the mankind as is any animal living in a city, or a vine growing up a concrete wall. I am oil upon water. I am an alien who does not remember his home.

Finished.

A work in progress.